I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
