she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize