is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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