did you get engaged???
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
