It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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