was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Randomize
