i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
