I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
