So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
