This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
