I am in a vortex of obligation.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
