girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
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