i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
