Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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