Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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