this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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