best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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