Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
smell my finger.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
