A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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