I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
