Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
