Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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