what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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