i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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