Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
