I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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