dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
