This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
