Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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