there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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