Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
