I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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