??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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