he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
