Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Randomize
