nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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