I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm having to shit out rocks
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