I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
