if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
