I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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