I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
