HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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