Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
