thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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