He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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