My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
