You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
