Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Soap is not a condiment
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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