I should be sponsored by Trojan
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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