Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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