Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
