She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
