Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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