im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
How does one acquire holy water?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
