Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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