Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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