if only i could text you this smell
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Every concussion has its silver lining
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Randomize
