He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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