why didn't you poke me back
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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