THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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