rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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