Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
