Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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