You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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