I am puke
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize