I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
The ass gains better be worth it
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