She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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